Here I am back in Harrisonburg sitting on the floor entirely overwhelmed. Surrounded by stacks and stacks of clothes and bags and bills all the random knick-knacks that don't really have a place and sneak into your suitcase when you leave home. I've just gotten off the phone and have finished my frustrated tears and so here I sit. In the midst of a mess. And it's okay. It's okay to not do everything all at once. It's okay that my clothes don't get put away this very second. It's okay that my bed doesn't get made or my errands get run. It's okay. Grace makes it okay.
Coming back from a break, especially long breaks like winter break or summer break, always throws me for a loop. Unpacking my life once again, preparing for another marathon length sprint of a semester, emotionally assessing relationships, etc, exhausts me. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and upon arriving back, if one little thing goes wrong I jump to all sorts of conclusions: "so THIS is how the semester is going to go," "if THIS is any indicator of how the next three months are going to be," "EVERYONE is disrespectful. EVERYONE is hurtful."
Taylor. Goodness gracious just CHILL OUT.
Starting new comes with a lot of unknowns. Even though I've done this "new semester" thing five times already, I am situated differently each time: relationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Times like this make me feel like I'm teetering over the edge of a huge cliff, one that has dense haze below the ledge-as to not be able to see what lies below. Translated practically, jumping feet first into a lot of unknown- will my relationships that didn't fare very well last semester be jumpstarted, will my ambitious workload be too much, will my lofty personal goals for this year be tangible due to everything else on my plate? I find myself guilty of having more fear than faith. I let fear win. Fear tells me that those relationships are beyond repair. I allow fear to tell me that I am not capable of thriving in my classes, in my extracurriculars, in how I manage my personal time. I believe the lies that fear whispers to my weakened heart.
The reality is that there will always be fear. There will always be doubts and feelings of insufficiency. And I don't think the answer is to get rid of the fear.
I think the answer is having overwhelming faith in spite of the fear.
Allowing the fear to motivate and prompt and drive and inspire and push and stimulate.
But not letting the fear win.
Because the fear will never stop, but you have to choose to let the faith win. You have to grind your heels in and commit to allowing your faith to sing more loudly than your fear. Listen to the voice of faith.
It's okay to be afraid. We're not asked or expected to be unabashed, fearless combatants who carelessly and recklessly move about in our lives. But we are expected to have faith in spite of the fear. Life will be more full because of this bravery; we can't let the fear win.
Coming back from a break, especially long breaks like winter break or summer break, always throws me for a loop. Unpacking my life once again, preparing for another marathon length sprint of a semester, emotionally assessing relationships, etc, exhausts me. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and upon arriving back, if one little thing goes wrong I jump to all sorts of conclusions: "so THIS is how the semester is going to go," "if THIS is any indicator of how the next three months are going to be," "EVERYONE is disrespectful. EVERYONE is hurtful."
Taylor. Goodness gracious just CHILL OUT.
Starting new comes with a lot of unknowns. Even though I've done this "new semester" thing five times already, I am situated differently each time: relationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Times like this make me feel like I'm teetering over the edge of a huge cliff, one that has dense haze below the ledge-as to not be able to see what lies below. Translated practically, jumping feet first into a lot of unknown- will my relationships that didn't fare very well last semester be jumpstarted, will my ambitious workload be too much, will my lofty personal goals for this year be tangible due to everything else on my plate? I find myself guilty of having more fear than faith. I let fear win. Fear tells me that those relationships are beyond repair. I allow fear to tell me that I am not capable of thriving in my classes, in my extracurriculars, in how I manage my personal time. I believe the lies that fear whispers to my weakened heart.
The reality is that there will always be fear. There will always be doubts and feelings of insufficiency. And I don't think the answer is to get rid of the fear.
I think the answer is having overwhelming faith in spite of the fear.
Allowing the fear to motivate and prompt and drive and inspire and push and stimulate.
But not letting the fear win.
Because the fear will never stop, but you have to choose to let the faith win. You have to grind your heels in and commit to allowing your faith to sing more loudly than your fear. Listen to the voice of faith.
It's okay to be afraid. We're not asked or expected to be unabashed, fearless combatants who carelessly and recklessly move about in our lives. But we are expected to have faith in spite of the fear. Life will be more full because of this bravery; we can't let the fear win.
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